Although many atheists rightly find Richard Dawkins and his agnostic Jehovah’s Witness act nauseating, (much as most Catholics found the last Pope an embarrassment, but hey, wha’cha gonna do?), he has blessed us with the marvellous concept of the ‘meme’ (although on second thoughts it is just a description of what was formerly known as ‘idea’ or ‘trend’, so it was hardly a feat of original thinking).

Most of these memes can be found in ‘Western’ film and television output, and whether you agree or not, if you are honest and think about it, you will identify them in most of the stuff you watch. It’s not about whether they are right or wrong, but how strangely ubiquitous they are.

-Shyness is a sign of sinister dysfunction. No explanation of this, scientific or otherwise is needed.

-‘Difference’ between people and cultures is limited to different forms of (un)dress and food. Others, such as disagreement on sexual mores or religious roles, are not to be tolerated.

-Women are never wrong about anything, in fact they are wise beyond all explanation. However, if women do ever do anything ‘wrong’, it is not their fault but usually a man’s fault.

-If a man cheats on a woman it’s because he is a dog who can’t keep it in his pants. If a woman cheats on a man, it’s because he forced her to do it by being distant/crap in bed/evil/a man. The fact that men cheat on women with other women as co-respondents should not prevent one from reaching this conclusion.

-In fact, to make it easier to remember, let’s just say women never do anything wrong at all.

-Everyone can become an entertainer, singer, film star, model, footballer etc (especially if you are from the working class or poor, your dreams in particular can come true). Also, there is no limit to how many such dreams can come true. Theoretically all poor people can become ‘rich and famous’. Don’t think about this too much.

-In fact, ‘thinking’ too much is another sign of sinister dysfunction.

-Being able to walk around in your underwear and taking off your clothes (for money of course) is a skill that requires years of training and not everyone can do it.

-Models are not anorexic and they most certainly do not encourage anorexia, irrespective of any empirical evidence to the contrary. In fact the word ‘anorexia’ will henceforth be replaced with ‘eating disorder’.

-In fact henceforth, empirical evidence is only to be applied to religion and in support of Liberal causes such as abortion but it is under no circumstances to be applied to Liberal assumptions themselves.

-Elections and democracy are essential to curb access to and the use of power. Unless you are in the entertainment industry in which case this does not apply. Elected officials must behave responsibly but film stars, singers etc. are not responsible in any way for the effect their actions have on those exposed to them. Also, there is no need to have democratic means of selecting media personalities or entertainment output in general.

-Groups which were severely victimised by European civilization in the past (for example, women and Jews) but are now ‘accepted’ by them (for the time being), are completely incapable of doing any wrong whatsoever. This privilege is not to extend to Gypsies or Muslims. Or Black People.

-Children, much like women, are wise and knowledgeable beyond all explanation. If not, they are certainly smarter than their parents.

-Most families are terribly unhappy, but if you are an unmarried couple or a gay couple  life’s a blast. all the bad things that are always shown in families (domestic violence, child abuse, general drudgery, sexual dissatisfaction) do not apply to you. Not being heterosexual and married mysteriously cures all of these problems.

-Your friends are much more important than your family. Therefore you must rebel against your elders and conform to your contemporaries.

-But remember, it must be in that order you can only rebel against your elders and never your contemporaries.

-Promiscuity is meritorious and a must without any need for explanation.

-Promiscuity with occasional same-sex activity is even more meritorious (but only for women).

-Since ‘Romantic Love’ is a useful marketing device, lip -service must be paid to this and any  real or apparent conflict between it and promiscuity is to be ignored/minimised.

-Virginity is reprehensible and is another sign of sinister dysfunction (like shyness), but for legal reasons it is only portrayed as reprehensible at any age after fourteen (especially, again, if you are a woman). The age of fourteen requires no explanation.

-It is regarded as meritorious for two under-age people to engage in sexual intercourse, especially if they are teenagers or close enough to it.

-However, if one partner is of age, then it is reprehensible in the extreme (only if it is the male partner who is older though).

-There is no such thing as ‘provocative dress’ on women (unless it is the Hijaab).

-Smoking cigarettes or drugs in movies does not help make you a smoker or a drug user.

-In fact, nothing in the movies has any effect on you. It’s all harmless entertainment. You can take it or leave it. There is no accountability needed.

-In fact, nothing in ‘art’ has any harmful effect on you at all.

-Which is the same thing as saying that advertising has no effect.

-‘Propaganda’ is distinct from ‘entertainment’ but it is completely unnecessary to demonstrate this.

-If you question this, you are in favour of ‘censorship’ and therefore a totalitarian.